''society, have mercy on me''

'I woke up to Eddie Vedder ringing in my head. This happens often, but to have Eddie Vedder's sublime vocals settling inside your brain means one of two things to me- 

One, you slept listening to Pearl Jam and the music is still in on loop with your earphones still painfully stuck in your ears. Or two, you genuinely woke up feeling the weight of your miseries surface.' 

There was no Pearl Jam on loop- my subconscious probably desired that I wake up to the concerns I had been casually sweeping under the mat of 'WILL BE TENDED TO LATER'.

My subconscious is a soulless bastard.

''Society, you're a crazy breed

I hope you're not lonely without me''

This stanza constantly rang in my head, enough to consume my complete attention. Enough for me to drink a cup of tea with milk and sugar; something I don't regularly do. Such was the intensity.
I'll get right to it- once you've settled yourself away from home and adjust to your own methods of things, it's very hard to go back to square one. So when Ive adjusted myself to a life that Ive built myself S.O.L.O, taking 3 years of it, it's hard for me to come back to the motherland without an array of reasons to be pissed off about.

1. dependency: The dependency that revolves around our societies is exhausting and painful. The more members of the family, the more it is to deal with. There are very limited concepts of stepping out of the house by yourself. If you've got your own cars, your'e in more trouble, Everyone in the house needs them, and you have to wait for your designated turn to leave(the turn is often hijacked)

2. misconceptions: If I had a Rupee for every time I heard 'You don't know how to do things', i'd have enough money to buy an immediate plane ticket away from this audacity. I am away from home, I wake myself up and commute in between 3 methods of transportation to get to my university. I take my classes and then onwards, another interchange of transportation before I get my unmotivated ass to work, where sometimes students won't show up. So basically, I could've slept but the universe had other plans.
No one taught me how to deal with issues with banks, cooking or general errands. HOW DO YOU FIX A BROKEN WATER TAP BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE. The past 3 years have been a bittersweet journey of so many discoveries, and everyday, there is still a new one.
The point being that yes, I do know how to get stuff done, not just by a designated method though. To me, it's whether Ive got it done or not, rather than HOW I got it done. (no illegal business, i assure you)

3. freedom of expression: I want to clarify that this, in no way, comes from a Western influence I might have taken seriously (I haven't). It's concerning because I as a woman, have identified the pertaining struggles, and don't understand how women here have the patience and stamina to still let the disorder prevail?
 The representation of freedom can be through anything- words, clothes, actions. There just NEEDS to be one. We are so deprived of our own self discoveries, we are so used to suppressing our thoughts and ideas, all because we'd upset the order of anyone else. I'm sorry but I am NOT convinced why the neighbor's opinion on my lifestyle and choices is even remotely important, or why my paternal aunt wants to preach me a living when my own mother is still alive and breathing, to do so.

'Oh,society, you suffocating bastard.' 

''Society, have mercy on me

I hope you're not angry if I disagree''

*this cultured form of ranting is oddly satisfying, I think i will continue with it if the need arrives. Until then, enjoy my recommendations of music along with my concepts practiced on my own self.